Author Archives: Karen Stark

Respect

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The lack of respect I see in the world today disturbs me. I think ultimately the respect or disrespect we show tells more about our own character than about the object of our respect or disrespect. We need to be respectful for our own sake.

Respect

Respect is related to civility, courtesy and politeness, but I think it goes deeper than these. Definitions include feelings of esteem or honor as well as courteous behavior. We rightly respect those we hold in very high regard based on their personal character or achievements. There is a sense of duty or obligation to show deference towards those in high positions. Civility requires this, regardless of our personal feelings toward such persons. Respect also includes showing consideration for others and their rights.

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Charity – Five Lessons about Charity

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Five lessons about Charity that I have learned through life and study: what it is, what it is not, how to obtain it, and why it is so critical.

Charity 1 Corinthians 13:4-6

Many years ago I made a serious study of charity. I gave some talks and presentations on the subject and wrote about it. I even entertained thoughts that there might be a book to be written on the subject. At that time, I thought I had some insight into charity, but as time and life continued I realized my shortcomings in living the principle. Through some experiences I have had more recently, I think I am beginning to have a better understanding of charity. Though I am sure I have much more to learn, I will share a few lessons.

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Standards – The Assault on Moral Standards

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Standards provide safeguards and guide us in life. Moral standards provide a framework for a peaceful society. The assault on moral standards leaves individuals vulnerable and weakens society.

moral standards

What are standards and why do we need them?

A standard is a set point against which things can be measured. Standards are effective when generally understood and accepted by all and when set by an appropriate authority. Standards within an organization provide order and consistency. They instill confidence in the quality and safety of products, services and personal conduct. Our confidence in leaders is determined by the standards that they live up to.

Moral standards serve similar functions to promote order and safety in society as well as personal well-being and progress. We all will not measure up to standards at all times. We are human. But without standards, we have no idea how far off course we are or whether we are even going in the right direction. Standards serve as a guide to make corrections. We can have a sense of security and peace when we live up to standards.

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The First Great Commandment – Loving God

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We hear much today about the Second Great Commandment – “love your neighbor as yourself” – but in the insistence that this is of supreme importance and with some using this as a weapon against Christians to point out supposed hypocrisy, the First Great Commandment – loving God – seems to get little or no attention.

The Two Great Commandments

When posed with the question: “Master, which is the great commandment in the law?” Jesus replied: “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.” (Matthew 22:36 -39)

Jesus being questioned

Loving our neighbors is a natural outgrowth of keeping the first commandment. Keeping the second without the first can lead to questions about whether the second is actually being kept at all.

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Clarity

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We most often think of clarity in relation to sensory perception. How clearly can we see or hear? It is a measure of how accurately we are perceiving our world. Clarity is also critical to understanding and discerning truth.

Sensory Clarity and Impediments

Definitions of clarity and clear are often expressed in opposite terms – as freedom from or an absence of things that might hinder or impede clarity and therefore interfere with our ability to perceive and understand.

Some things that affect clarity involve conditions outside of ourselves, some involve inherent abilities which may be greater or lesser for different individuals or vary within individuals at different times or circumstances, and some require some effort on our part.

Hearing clearly can be difficult with external factors such as low volume, a weak signal or interference with whatever is sending a message. Background noise or multiple sounds and voices add confusion. With age or other conditions, the mechanics of the ear or connections with the brain reduce the ability to hear clearly. Hearing clearly also requires an ability to focus – to filter out what is unnecessary and tune in to what is significant. This ability can be affected by physical factors or conditions, but largely it requires personal effort and attention to focus, filter and concentrate.

When it comes to sight, it is easy to see how pollutants, clouds or fog effect clarity of vision.  Light cannot be overemphasized as an influence of clarity. Some impurities are less noticeable, especially as we become accustomed to them. Sometimes we look through dirty windows or lenses so often that we do not realize until they are cleaned how much we have been missing. We literally ” see through a glass, darkly” (1 Corinthians 13:12). Vision varies among people, but clarity can be improved by looking through corrective lenses. They sharpen our focus and can eliminate distortions. Magnification can improve clarity. It not only makes things appear larger, but makes details become more apparent. Seeing clearly also requires attention and focus through our own efforts. We miss so much because we do not really look.

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Shame Culture has Taken us All Back to Junior High

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By rejecting divinely instituted moral standards in favor of changing opinions and judgement of the group, we are left with the uncertain insecurity and shame culture we experienced as adolescents.

I read an enlightening opinion piece in The New York Times by David Brooks titled “The Shame Culture” (3-15-2016) Rather than quote extensively from it, I will try to summarize a few ideas as I understand them and encourage all to read this article yourself. As often happens to me, at the time I read this I was also reading something else – a novel about High School bullying gone horribly wrong. I recognized the concept of shame culture as basically what we all endured as adolescents – only now more pervasive and disturbing.

SHAME CULTURE AND JUNIOR HIGH

Shame culture is about one’s feeling of being good or bad being connected to acceptance by a group. It is about conforming to the specific rules of the group and meeting their expectations to receive approval. Those who violate rules of conduct or simply do not fit in with expectations or conditions of the group are excluded. In the process they are judged and negatively labeled, leading to the conclusion and resulting feelings that they are bad.

Isn’t this what most of us had to endure in Junior High and High School? The desire to be popular, to have people – the right people – like us leads to sucking up to the elite, hoping for some attention and inclusion in return.

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Contentment

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Am I happy? Am I fulfilled? Am I content? Is there a difference? Is there a conflict between happiness and contentment or is it an issue of perspective and balance? I have pondered much about this for some time. The topic of contentment brings forth a plethora of proverbs, platitudes, quotes and memes. We all tend to see the wisdom in such sayings, but the actual practice of contentment in our lives is a little more complicated and difficult.

So after much contemplation I will offer my own thoughts and platitudes:

Contentment is about gratitude – appreciating what you have rather than focusing on or seeking for what you don’t have, what others have, or what may be out of reach at this time.

The world would have us compare ourselves with others, to feel that it is not fair that some have so much more than we have, to look at ourselves as lacking in one way or another. There will always be those who are more wealthy, beautiful, successful or powerful than we are, but there will also be those who have less than we in all areas. Contentment does not compare and see a lack, but appreciates what we do have.

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The Dual Nature of Man and the Battle for the Soul

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I am concerned about the battles raging in our society – the battles which divide us into opposing groups, and also the internal battles for individual souls. These are continuations of a war which began long ago. We have no recollection of it, but scriptural accounts can stir up feelings and give us a sense of the intensity and eternal significance of the struggle. (See Revelation 12:7-9, Moses 4:1-4, Abraham 3:27-28)

What makes this war is so challenging on an individual level – and that is the level that it really counts – are the realities of our current mortal existence.

We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience. Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

I believe that we are essentially spiritual beings. We are actually the spiritual offspring of God, and as such have at our spiritual core a divine nature and potential. In order for us to be able to progress toward that potential, we have been given the opportunity of this mortal existence. We have been housed in physical bodies and placed in a temporal world. I do not believe that everything about these physical bodies and this world are inherently bad or evil. These bodies are marvelous creations and allow us to do wonderful things. Our world is filled with so much that is beautiful and good. However, being a spiritual being inside a physical body creates the basis of our test, and the core of the battle – will the spiritual overcome the physical and progress, or will the spiritual yield to the physical?

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Common Feelings of Differentness

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I recently read some biographical accounts from people who struggled with various issues. They all pointed out feeling different from other kids as they were growing up. These and other experiences of my own and of people that I know caused me to wonder:

Is there anyone out there who has made it through adolescence always feeling like they were Okay, they fit it perfectly and had a wonderful time? If so, I would love to hear your story.

I have made the transition from Soccer Mom to Soccer Grandma. I enjoyed watching my girls play and now get to watch my grandchildren. As the oldest, my ten year old grandson, finished his last game of the season and was walking with his teammates off the field, it caused me to reflect a bit. This group of boys made a good deal of improvement from the beginning of the fall season to this last game of spring. When they began, some of them didn’t even know each other. Fortunately they had a good coach who encouraged them each individually, and also managed to teach them to work together as a team. They easily won their spring games. Watching them play, I got to know a little of their personalities. They are all unique with different strengths and quirks. It has been rather entertaining to watch them play. As they left that day, I wondered about where their future paths would take them.

The field they were leaving just happens to be across the street from the Junior High School which I had attended. Junior High was not a highlight of my life. In fact, sometimes I wonder how I survived it at all. I realized that in a very short time, these boys would be entering Junior High or Middle School. I wondered how they would navigate it and what experiences awaited them.

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Weather Panic?

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Do you believe in climate change? That seems to be the question. It is presented as though one must totally accept or reject a neat package as scientific fact. It is often presented as accepting or denying science. It is really a much more complicated issue involving not purely science, but also politics, economics and theology. I have issues with it on various levels.

The Politics of Science

It is hard to accept Climate Change Theory or Global Warming as science, when it is actually part of a larger political package which includes blatant “science denying”in regards to other key issues. This package is promoted by the party which considers itself pro-science and delights in calling others “science deniers”.

I believe in the science of human biology. When a human sperm containing a Y chromosome joins with a female egg and fertilizes it, it creates a new human being. This being has unique DNA differing from both of its parents. Though it spends time gestating inside of a female body, it is not part of that female’s body. It is not a growth or a condition. It is a unique, individual human being.

Science tells us that it has a beating heart and functioning organs. It moves. It grows. It feels pain. All long before it breathes and lives independently. Science also tells us that humans come in two sexes. These are determined by that little Y chromosome. If someone has a Y, they develop what we call male physical characteristics and are male. They start out as baby boys and become men. If someone lacks a Y chromosome, they become a female. (There may be rare biological anomalies, but this is the rule.) Simple as that. Gender is determined by biology – science – not by how someone feels or what they prefer.

So a political ideology which promotes such denials of scientific facts makes me skeptical of what other ideas they promote in the name of science. They in effect say “trust us that this is scientific – but never mind those other scientific facts.”

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