Author Archives: Karen Stark

Appreciating Citizenship

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I just had the privilege of participating in a citizenship ceremony which has caused me to reflect on some things related to some of my Word of the Month posts, including this month’s word which is Privilege.

I attended a Court of Naturalization and witnessed a number of individuals become Citizens of the United States of America. My simple part in the ceremony was leading the singing of the National Anthem, which was certainly not a highlight of the day, especially considering technical difficulties with audio.

The highlight for me was when the new citizens stood and introduced themselves, telling where they had come from and their feelings about this new citizenship. In spite of, or perhaps more accurately because of, the fact that this journey had taken a great deal of desire, time and effort on their part, it was apparent that they did feel that this was a great privilege. They came from an interesting assortment of countries and backgrounds. There was a recognition that there is something special about being “American”, including rights and opportunities unavailable to them in other countries. There were expressions of gratitude for this new citizenship and those who had helped and supported them in their journeys. Some expressed excitement about new opportunities to participate and immediately afterwards registered to vote.

Do we who have been privileged to be born into citizenship appreciate what we have? Do we recognized that among all the inhabitants of this world past and present, we are among the most privileged? Do we appreciate the sacrifice others have made for us to enjoy these privileges?

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Privilege

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When did “privilege” become a dirty word? Is privilege a blessing or a cause of shame? The more I ponder on privilege and the way the word is being used today, the more I realize that the real problem is not privilege at all – it is pride.*

I have heard the word “privilege”, especially “white privilege” being hurled at people as an insult. I have had the phrase “your privilege is showing” thrown at me, as if that somehow meant I have no social conscience. This is not how I remember this word being used.

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Facing and Replacing Fear

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“For God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” (2 Timothy 1:7)

At one point during the past election season as I was reading opposing views of a particularly contentious issue, I made an effort to find some common ground. What I hit on was fear. Both sides were afraid that what might happen would affect them in a negative way. Each side saw that if the other prevailed, that they, or those they cared about, would be seriously hurt. They each focused on their own fears without seeing that the other side was just as fearful, but of a different outcome that could have just as detrimental an affect on them. The arguments of each side were more to convince the other that the fears of their particular group were somehow more legitimate or serious, especially if that group could be seen as victims.

My hope in seeking a common ground was to find some principle upon which both sides could unite – something they could feel they had in common. If both sides could see that they really feared the same basic things – and desired the same things – you would think that they might feel some common concern. We might hope that fear could unite opposing sides out of some sense of compassion, but the reality is much scarier.

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Capacity

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Capacity is a word that keeps jumping out at me recently. Shopping for appliances, I heard much about “capacity.” Often capacity is viewed in terms of quantity – the amount of space which can be filled or contain something. The implication is that more or larger is better. When talking about human capacities, whether that be mental, physical, emotional or spiritual, we are usually thinking about abilities or potential.

Human Capacities

Physical capacity usually involves strength, endurance, and stamina. Some people are able to physically do more or for longer because of greater physical capacity.

Mental capacity is what is referred to as the power of receiving and holding knowledge – the ability to comprehend, reason, to learn and understand.

Emotional capacity is something we don’t think much about, but I think it is real. I recently heard someone comment about another’s “capacity for chaos”. Some people seem to be able to handle stress, adapt to changes or deal with upsetting situations better than others. Some have greater capacity for self-reliance. We look to first responders and leaders for such capacity in dealing with emergencies.

Spiritual Capacity is about the potential of our souls to develop and expand and progress. Our goal may be described as “enlightenment” or becoming more Christlike – more loving, understanding and giving.

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A Good Life

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During my life, I have found myself repeatedly in situations where I have been among people older than myself while involved in work or service. This has provided me many learning experiences and it has helped me feel young to hang out with old people. You would think that as I have become one of those “older people” myself, I might have fewer of those opportunities, but once again I have found myself mingling with a wonderful group of “mature adults,” most of whom are older than I am. The majority of these people are retired and considered senior citizens. We work together in a volunteer service capacity.

As I have gotten to know some of these people, I have been somewhat surprised to learn about their “previous lives,” which include some pretty prestigious accomplishments. They have had successful businesses, careers in education, medicine, and law. Some have served in public service and community organizations. When they talk of these things however, it is in a matter of fact manner, without any bragging or desire to go into much detail. What I have found instead, is that the preferred conversations with them are about their families – their children and grandchildren. There was probably a time in their lives when their minds and conversations were centered on those worldly activities, interests and accomplishments, and perhaps it is because they are no longer immersed in those things that talk about them is not a priority. I have to wonder that if in the passing of time and approaching the end of life, the focus has shifted to the things that hold more lasting importance. Maybe for some of them however, families and faith were always were the priority.

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Victor’s Story – From Homeless to Hopeful

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I learned a great deal from Victor – about being homeless, about living with a brain injury, about resourcefulness, about hope and positive change, and about the ways lives can touch each other during the process.

Meeting Victor

During the summer of 2016, a new person came to my church. He attended the Sunday School class I taught, sat at the front and introduced himself as Victor. He was neatly dressed, well mannered, friendly and eager to participate in class. Through his comments and a few conversations we had outside of class, I learned a little about his background and experiences as well as his feelings about the Church. It wasn’t until after he had left our Ward and moved into an apartment in Ogden City, that I learned more about his story. I was fascinated to hear about his travels and unique living arrangements and wanted to learn more. He was gracious to sit down with me and share his story.

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Awareness, Insight and Impaired Brains

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I like to believe that there is some purpose for the things we go through in life. As I find myself now surrounded by people I love, who for different reasons and with some variety in expression, have impaired mental functions, I am wondering what it is I am supposed to be learning from this. Of course, there is the obvious patience, of which much more is required than I naturally have, along with tolerance and compassion. You would think that one impaired brain would be sufficient to teach me, but apparently I am in need of more.

Sometimes I wish for more associations with intelligent, educated people with which to have deep conversations and share great insights. I find myself pondering about how the brain works, and sometimes doesn’t work, and how that relates to the human quest to learn and understand. So I will share some of my “insights” about things like insight and understanding.

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Gratitude

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Most discussions of gratitude focus on what we are grateful for, rather than to whom we express gratitude. How significant is our acknowledgment of the source of our blessings?

Gratitude is considered a universal virtue. It is very effective in counteracting human tendencies toward pride, envy or coveting what others have, to feeling sorry for ourselves when bad things happen or becoming bitter when things are not fair. If we give it some time and thought, we could all come up with lists of things that we are grateful for. But how much do we think about to whom our feelings and expressions of gratitude are directed? Continue reading →

A Good Person

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We often hear someone comment about another being a “good person”. Sometimes this is said in spite of evidence that this person may have done something seriously wrong, as if that action was out of character. Other times this is used to eulogize someone by summarizing their life as basically good.

I think the designation of “good person” is often used in the same manner as labeling someone “nice”. I knew someone whose catch-phrase was “Be nice like me”. What I learned from her, however, was that it was totally possible to be “nice” while also being very self-centered and manipulative. The term “nice” seems to me more about being socially acceptable. It includes manners and respect and courtesy, but also conforming to whatever society or a particular group determines is acceptable behavior. It is really about pleasing people so that they will approve of you.

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Understanding

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“And with all thy getting get understanding” (Proverbs 4:7)

I have tried to ask questions with a sincere intent to understand other people’s perspective and reasoning on issues. I have generally been disappointed by the answers I have received, especially from liberals. In response, I have received slogans, sound bites, quotes, memes, twitter hashtags, or given a link to some article by a leftist “expert” or commentator. But I rarely receive any real explanation of that person’s own understanding of a position and the reasoning behind their personal beliefs. I have also not seen much in the way of attempting to understand an opposing position – particularly ones that I have voiced. I have received condescending comments that imply that I don’t understand the facts, that I have been misled or have been listening to false ideas, but no indication that those commenting have even read or listened to arguments from the other side with anything resembling an open mind. I am sure that this happens from both sides, but I have noticed a more “haughty” attitude from liberals and a tendency for them to point out that the religious accept what they are told without question, though they seem to be doing the same thing in echoing standard liberal positions without explanation. The questioning I have received when I have voiced an opinion has felt like an attempt to tear down my beliefs or imply that I am stupid or uninformed, rather than any desire to gain an understanding of how I arrived to my conclusions.

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