Category Archives: Spiritual Musings

Thoughts and ponderings on spiritual matters

Awareness, Insight and Impaired Brains

Posted on by Karen Stark
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I like to believe that there is some purpose for the things we go through in life. As I find myself now surrounded by people I love, who for different reasons and with some variety in expression, have impaired mental functions, I am wondering what it is I am supposed to be learning from this. Of course, there is the obvious patience, of which much more is required than I naturally have, along with tolerance and compassion. You would think that one impaired brain would be sufficient to teach me, but apparently I am in need of more.

Sometimes I wish for more associations with intelligent, educated people with which to have deep conversations and share great insights. I find myself pondering about how the brain works, and sometimes doesn’t work, and how that relates to the human quest to learn and understand. So I will share some of my “insights” about things like insight and understanding.

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Gratitude

Posted on by Karen Stark
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Most discussions of gratitude focus on what we are grateful for, rather than to whom we express gratitude. How significant is our acknowledgment of the source of our blessings?

Gratitude is considered a universal virtue. It is very effective in counteracting human tendencies toward pride, envy or coveting what others have, to feeling sorry for ourselves when bad things happen or becoming bitter when things are not fair. If we give it some time and thought, we could all come up with lists of things that we are grateful for. But how much do we think about to whom our feelings and expressions of gratitude are directed? Continue reading →

A Good Person

Posted on by Karen Stark
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We often hear someone comment about another being a “good person”. Sometimes this is said in spite of evidence that this person may have done something seriously wrong, as if that action was out of character. Other times this is used to eulogize someone by summarizing their life as basically good.

I think the designation of “good person” is often used in the same manner as labeling someone “nice”. I knew someone whose catch-phrase was “Be nice like me”. What I learned from her, however, was that it was totally possible to be “nice” while also being very self-centered and manipulative. The term “nice” seems to me more about being socially acceptable. It includes manners and respect and courtesy, but also conforming to whatever society or a particular group determines is acceptable behavior. It is really about pleasing people so that they will approve of you.

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Understanding

Posted on by Karen Stark
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“And with all thy getting get understanding” (Proverbs 4:7)

I have tried to ask questions with a sincere intent to understand other people’s perspective and reasoning on issues. I have generally been disappointed by the answers I have received, especially from liberals. In response, I have received slogans, sound bites, quotes, memes, twitter hashtags, or given a link to some article by a leftist “expert” or commentator. But I rarely receive any real explanation of that person’s own understanding of a position and the reasoning behind their personal beliefs. I have also not seen much in the way of attempting to understand an opposing position – particularly ones that I have voiced. I have received condescending comments that imply that I don’t understand the facts, that I have been misled or have been listening to false ideas, but no indication that those commenting have even read or listened to arguments from the other side with anything resembling an open mind. I am sure that this happens from both sides, but I have noticed a more “haughty” attitude from liberals and a tendency for them to point out that the religious accept what they are told without question, though they seem to be doing the same thing in echoing standard liberal positions without explanation. The questioning I have received when I have voiced an opinion has felt like an attempt to tear down my beliefs or imply that I am stupid or uninformed, rather than any desire to gain an understanding of how I arrived to my conclusions.

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Doing What is Right

Posted on by Karen Stark
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In order to do what is right, there must be standards which we can choose to follow because we believe they are right.

I read a Facebook post with this quote from Timber Hawkeye’s “Faithfully Religionless” (FB told me a friend liked this – it was not on a Page I follow):

“I’m not against religion, I just don’t believe we need it in order to be ethical, especially since morality means doing what is right regardless of what you are told, and religion is about doing what you’re told regardless of what is right.”

My first thought was “How can you possibly know you are doing what is right?” In order to do what is right – or even to know what is right, moral, or ethical – there must be standards. One important role of religion through the ages has been to provide firm, set standards of right and wrong. The source of these standards is believed to be divine and always right – the source of absolute truth.

Rather than blindly doing what a religion says to do as the non-religious claim, the religious are actually making a conscious choice to be obedient to the standards of right and wrong that they believe have come from a divine source. They are really doing what is right, regardless of what the secular world is telling them. This is morality.

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Reacting to Criticism

Posted on by Karen Stark
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Being criticized may not be such a bad thing, if we take time to reflect on our own reaction and our reasoning.

At a few times during recent months, I have found myself feeling some familiar but unpleasant feelings. This happened when comments or criticism “hit a nerve” or triggered a defensive reaction. Usually we just react, but I forced myself to stop and think about why. Why did that comment from that person cause such a strong emotional reaction? No one really likes to hear criticism, but there are different kinds of criticism. It is one thing to have a mistake pointed out. Errors can be corrected, often without major damage to the ego. But often, as I think in these cases, the criticism is not so much about what was done or said, but includes an element of shame. There is some inference (maybe intended, but also possibly just perceived) of judgement associated with it – an underlying message that we are somehow a bad person, an idiot, or a fool. The feeling is that we are being personally attacked. The feelings may be more intense when the giver of the message is someone we feel has no position of authority or superiority to judge us. “How dare they” we think and want to strike back. We may also feel a need to defend ourselves and our position.

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Commitment

Posted on by Karen Stark
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What is your word worth – whether a resolution, oath, legal contract or verbal promise?

“I solemnly swear. . .” This month of January there will be many people taking oaths – primarily an oath of office for those newly elected to leadership positions in Government. I recently joined an organization where the process of becoming a member included taking an oath to uphold the purposes and goals of the organization. In court, witnesses take an oath that their testimony will be the truth. How much do we think of these oaths and how seriously do we take them?

An oath is defined as a covenant, pledge, promise or vow to do certain things. It is a public proclamation and manifestation of what should also be an inner personal commitment. Though taken before other people and often with much ceremony, the purpose is much more than to satisfy others that our intentions are good and honorable. It is a solemn and sacred promise, usually pledged in the name of God. When we swear in His name, we recognize a need for His help to fulfill responsibilities – “so help me God” – and we recognize that He is our witness to this commitment. Implied is the realization that we will be judged by God as to how well we keep this pledge. God knows and judges the intents of our hearts as well as our sincere efforts.

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Light the World

Posted on by Karen Stark
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I started out this Christmas Season with great intentions. I even tried to start early with a little shopping, preparing Christmas cards and neighbor gifts before the end of November. I started December by attending a wonderful Christmas Social which got me in the spirit. Our family visited Temple Square in Salt Lake City and enjoyed the lights. I found the book Jacob T. Marley which I read quickly and then re-read A Christmas Carol.

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The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints presented a program for December #LIGHTtheWORLD, with daily suggestions for service following the example of Jesus Christ. This sounded like a great and organized way to focus service efforts during the season.

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Receive

Posted on by Karen Stark
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“To Truly Give, we must first Receive”

As we approach the Christmas season with thoughts about gift giving, I would like to share a couple of stories from Christmases past and the lessons I learned from them.

Christmas Story #1

Receive gift

One took place many years ago at a traditional family gathering where gifts were exchanged and opened. We have a particular family member who is one of those hard to buy for folks – you all know them. I had spent a great deal of time thinking about what to give this person, and even more time shopping and agonizing over what to choose. I finally selected what I thought was a simple but good gift. On Christmas day, I gave this nicely wrapped package to this person. He unwrapped and opened it. After taking a look, he placed it back inside the box, then handed it to another family member saying, “I opened this by mistake, this is for you.”

All this was right in front of me. My feelings would not have been hurt if this person had taken this gift back to the store and exchanged it for something else, or even if he had taken it home and then re-gifted it on another occasion. What hurt my feelings was that this gift was never acknowledged.

The real gift was not the object – the real gift was the thought, the intent, the effort put into the giving.

“For what doth is profit a man if a gift is bestowed upon him, and he receive not the gift? Behold, he rejoices not in that which is given unto him, neither rejoices in him who is the giver of the gift” (Doctrine & Covenants 88:33)

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A Grateful Heart

Posted on by Karen Stark
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This year has brought some experiences which have made me feel a need to express my gratitude for simple as well as profound blessings.

Like this sign, I am thankful for simple things. I have a home. It is not large or new or grand, but it provides shelter and safety – it is a home. After seeing a house torn apart by a tornado which had only left us in the dark for days, seeing a hole in the ground which a friend intended to live in this winter, then seeing the small modest apartment which he is grateful to call home now, I feel more grateful for the home that I have.

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